Coming Home
Jean Parnell explores how we need to develop a connection with the wild places
There has been a lot of discussion for many years around how our children relate to the earth and to nature. Screen time for children has never been so high, so the need for nature feels more important now than ever before. Forest Schools have popped up in most areas and more and more schools have dedicated spaces for children to play, grow food or observe wildlife.
Slowly but surely we seem to be realising that something has been lost along the way and we're trying to give our children that connection again. But what about us?
How can we expect our children to feel a sense of belonging in nature if we haven't also given ourselves the chance to rediscover it? This disconnection isn’t only felt by our children, it's been widening for generations. We need nature just as much as they do. Often the busyness of adult life can cause us to lose sight of feeling close to the earth. Who has time to get out into the wild when there's a pile of laundry or dishes to be done, or work to get on top of? We are a society of busy people, it's no wonder so many of us have become distant from the natural world.
I have heard people talk about sharing our inner self with our children to feed their joy in nature and to help inspire them. I believe it can go far beyond that and help us in ways we perhaps didn't imagine. Not just gaining a deeper understanding and respect for nature, but we can gain a stronger feeling of responsibility towards the planet and the environment, our mental health can improve and we can foster stronger relationships with our children.
Find your Awe
The simplest benefit of natural learning and reconnecting with nature is letting ourselves be in awe of it. It's not just children that are allowed to be amazed by how bees go about their work or how the seasons change the landscape. It's not childish to look at the world in a simpler way, at its most basic level (which is often incredibly intricate and beautiful). In fact, that deeper understanding and appreciation for nature is what will hopefully inspire and drive us towards the next benefit, the feeling of responsibility.
Engaging with nature, be it through growing your own food or going on long walks through the countryside, will often help us to gain an awareness of the issues that perhaps we previously felt removed from. After picking fresh kale from the garden we can see the link to how much plastic our supermarket food is wrapped in. Those long walks might have litter scattered along them that is going uncollected. Once we form a personal tie to these issues we will find it easier to make changes towards protecting our environment on a local and global scale. Often it's the children that notice these things more than adults, sadly but understandably many of us have become numb to issues that we feel are beyond our control. Sometimes it's only when it's a passionate ten year old demanding we collect litter or reduce our plastic waste do we feel that fire to get more involved.
Giving Back
Whether it's a fresh walk by the sea on our own or pottering around in the garden with the kids, spending time outdoors can also help when we're feeling stressed. GPs in the UK are prescribing spending time outside for their patients! There are countless benefits to being outside (vitamin D, fresh air, natural light to name just a few) so it's pretty obvious that reconnecting with nature is a great way of boosting our mental health. You don't have to suffer with a complex mental health issue to deserve this, it's important for us all to be mindful of how we're doing and to look after ourselves. Immersing ourselves in nature is an easy way to give back to ourselves.
By including our children in this journey back to nature, we can deepen our connection through them. The enjoyment of watching your child exploring rockpools, foraging for blackberries together, wandering through woodlands talking to each other, it all works to strengthen not only our bond to nature but to our children. Having these simple but potentially deep experiences and conversations with our children can help foster a stronger relationship with them. If we are openly sharing our 'inner self', giving our children a glimpse of who we really are, not as parents but as individual people, we are opening the door for them to do the same.
Some of my most memorable conversations with my daughters have been while lying in the grass together imagining what shapes we see in the clouds, or sitting around a campfire deep in the woods. What starts as a conversation linked to, or inspired by nature, can often morph into me sharing childhood stories or my daughters opening up about what's on their minds.
Sharing as a Family
When my children were younger we were also part of a natural learning home education group which met weekly. We'd start by sitting around a campfire, singing our opening song, introducing ourselves and perhaps sharing how we're feeling. Everyone is invited to talk including the youngest of the children and nothing is off limits so we are there for each other just as much as for our children. We spent time on the land in various ways, whether it was cooking a big soup or popcorn over the fire, building dens in the wood or simply letting the children play. Although we were all responsible for our own children, belonging to that community meant we often cared for each other's children as well. That didn't just mean the closest adult picking up the fallen toddler for a hug, it was also sitting with other children and listening to them talk about the fungi they're so excited to have found or us pointing out interesting things we've seen to the closest child. If you're unsure of how to reconnect with nature, a great place to start is by finding a community like this who can help guide you, perhaps getting a few families together and picking a spot to explore. Community is something we all deserve to be a part of. Parenting can be a lonely job sometimes, the old saying it takes a village to raise a child is still repeated to this day for a reason, building a strong community for ourselves can be vital in getting through the busyness that is modern parenting.
If you're not sure where to start just head to your local park or check out an app like Wildling which will show you good spots in your local area.
Jean lives on the edge of Dartmoor with her two daughters who have been home educated. When she is not writing you'll find her in her garden or studying permaculture and regenerative land practices. You can connect with her on Instagram at jean.seedofresistance www.instagram.com/jean.seedofresistance